I know, I STILL can't believe it either, but it's true. All those times I whined about never winning an award (EVER), all those times I broke down because I thought I wasn't good enough, and all those times I was brought down by other, older, people, well, to put it simply, they were worthless. I just won a national blogging award. I'm not just one of the best culture and arts blogs/bloggers. In the words of 2NE1 (even if I hate the song LOL), I AM the best.
I went there, armed with five nominations. Even if I walked away with only one win, that one win was the first award I have ever won, for anything. The first time I've been dubbed the best at something.
I started Pop Reviews Now when I was thirteen. Four years later, I stood on that stage last night and claimed an award given to me by an elite panel of judges who deemed PRN as THE best culture and arts blog for Luzon. To you guys it may not be a big deal, and to other bloggers it might just be another day in the life, but to me it isn't. I waited four years for this, I went through the haters, I went through so many different insecurities, I went though people who never failed to remind me that I was never good enough because I was a young girl in a field dominated by older writers. To say that success is sweet is an understatement - it's so much more than that.
Tagumpay. Ang tamis ng tagumpay. Ngayon ko lang lubos na naintindihan ang totoong ibig-sabihin ng apat na salitang iyon. Matamis ang tagumpay. Napakatamis. Apat na taon akong naghintay. Apat na taon akong naghirap. At apat na taon akong walang-sawang umasa. Ito ang katapusan ng paghihitay ko.I feel like DB5K at Tokyo Dome. After five years of hard work in Japan, from the ground up no less, they get to the stage of their dreams, and to be honest with you I'm in awe at how they weren't crying from the very beginning, because the minute PRN was called I practically lost it. It's a miracle how I managed to say actually words. Excuse the reference, but I'm a pop music blog, so I guess you should be used to it now. :D
I could say enough "thank you"'s to last me a lifetime, but I don't mind. To know that people actually care enough to congratulate me, to know that real people, and not just spam bots, take time out of their busy lives to write comments, talk to me on Twitter and Tumblr and FB, and even vote for me when needed -- that's an even greater vindication of my success, and once again, I thank you ALL so much, but even this simple "thank you" wouldn't be enough to show how grateful I am for you guys.
I screwed up my speech, yes, but in hindsight, I am a blogger, not a public speaker. I wanted to tell the people at the awards show last night that young writers shouldn't be looked down on, but I realize now that the best way to put the message across is by putting it on my now award-winning blog. After all, isn't this what blogging is for?
For the past four years I've been blogging for myself, for my own personal gain, but I realize how fortunate I am, and from now on I will not only blog for myself, but for a cause. For all the young writers who are too afraid to try and match their seniors, who were looked down on and judged because of their age - I'm writing for them. And I'm writing to encourage them to write, to never give up.
You start young, you get farther. You won't get better by just listening to lectures all day, you get better by actually writing and making use of what you learned. Being a young writer isn't something to be ashamed of, it's something extraordinary and something to be proud of. I hope both young writers, and older writers who look down on us, realize that time is of the essence in writing.